In Australia, Scouts encompasses the age range between 11-14 years. At the time I was scouting our troop was for boys only, with girls attending Girl Guides instead. The troop comprised 3-4 leaders, one of whom was my dad. Three ‘patrols’ of 6 kids, led by a patrol leader and assistant patrol leader. Weekly meetings were held on a Wednesday evening with activities often focussed on attainment of skills and targets for ‘badges’ that would be sewn proudly onto our shirts. In addition to skills essential for camping and outdoor survival, numerous other activities were taught that had an enormous impact upon my life right up to the present day.
I mentioned previously that camping was not a thing for our family. I feel incredibly fortunate that I was provided the opportunity to participate in scouts as the adventure and enjoyment of camping, together with the skills of rope and knot craft have stayed with me all my life. Experiencing outdoor activities such as 4-wheel-driving, kayaking and hiking also have contributed to my favourite hobbies as an adult. One particularly memorable occasion was a visit to our local airport where we could undertake a Trial Instructional Flight in a small Cessna aeroplane. As a kid with a keen interest in aviation and model building this flight was to go down as one of my favourite childhood memories. So much was this the case, that I would eventually spend a significant part of my clinical career flying in small aircraft to visit remote Indigenous communities, and more recently in PC-12 aircraft and rescue helicopters to retrieve and transport sick infants and children. Jobs that have brought a huge amount of pride and sense of utmost privilege to me over a significant portion of my career.
The desire to train as a pilot never really left my soul after that first TIF flight and I eventually started learning to fly gliders after moving to Perth, before obtaining a private pilot license in 2012. Sadly, despite applying to work at NASA whilst undertaking my PhD quite some time back, I never did get to become an astronaut. I guess not everyone makes it that far.. I think flying is a bit like being out bush under the stars, or hiking through gorges, or driving down remote desert tracks. Once it gets in your blood, it never leaves. And the rest of your time when not undertaking such activities is spent yearning for the next opportunity you will have to do them again.
Like all things in our (by ‘our’ I mean ‘my’) life, the time I was attending scouts was complicated. I became good friends with one of my leaders because we had both spent a lot of time learning to write computer code. Home computers were a new phenomenon during the early 1980’s and I had taken to learning BASIC coding on our Dick Smith Wizzard game console. The console took large cartridges to play games such as Sonic Invader, Chopper Rescue and AstroPinball and there was also a cartridge that allowed one to type code into the machine to write basic BASIC programs (if you know what I mean). I spent more hours than I can recall single finger typing into that machine. Files saved on an attached cassette data recorder. This activity was also to lead to a lifelong interest in technology, prototyping and computer coding. It is only as you get older that you begin to understand just how important those early life exposures and experiences contribute to adult life, interests, hobbies and behaviours.
Anyway, my scout leader friend got the faster, better, cooler Tandy TRS-80 computer so I used to ride to his place after school sometimes to do coding. He also had a lot more LEGO than I did. He would also come over to our place to visit and hang out, sometimes his car would be in the driveway when I got home from school. Around this time, my mum’s functioning was still not great. I don’t think it ever had been great to be honest. She always seemed happy if people dropped in to visit, as our scout leader friend did from time to time.
Scout meetings at the local church hall finished a little after 9pm. If activities ran a bit late sometimes dad and I wouldn’t get home until 9:45. I still have clear emotional reaction to the anxiety of heading home after scouts. I was never sure what sort of reception dad and I were going to receive when we walked in the door. Sometimes mum would be asleep on the couch in the living room and she would be fine when I opened the door. Sometimes, she would have gone to bed already, with or without the bedroom door closed. From that point it was the process of gently opening the door to see if she was awake, awake and ok, angry or upset or ready to have an argument with dad because we were so late getting home, or because she was always the one having to stay home alone or maybe some other reason. It was Russian Roulette. There was never any enquiry about what we had done at scouts that night, what had been fun, what I had learnt or what group activities or camping weekends were being planned. In fact, going or returning to home from scout camp trips followed a very similar pattern to the weekly meetings. Would things be ok? Would we be walking into an argument? Who knows.
I remember one evening after dinner, mum and dad were ‘doing the dishes’ after my scout leader friend had been over to visit that afternoon. He was still at our place when dad got home from work at 5pm. I’m not sure what triggered the argument on this particular occasion, but amongst the accusations and verbal abuse that followed, mum announced to dad that she was having an affair with said person. She also accused dad of having an affair with the only female leader of our group, who was both lovely and married. I have thought about the words of that argument a lot over the years. I often wondered if mum’s announcement was simply a mechanism to attempt to hurt dad in the heat of an argument, or whether she really had been doing so. Somewhat strangely I guess, it had never occurred to me at the time, that my ‘friendship’ with the scout leader, might have come with other benefits.
Having spent many years wrestling with this, there was certainly plenty of opportunity. I don’t believe the marriage was a happy one, though I never heard dad really discuss or even reply to mum’s statement, nor to the accusation of infidelity on his part. I guess that secret, like so many others involving my family, will also go to the grave unresolved. What I do know, is that there was very little, if any opportunity at scout meetings, or even at scout camps for leaders to have time alone without boys in their space. Likewise, as I have discussed already, there was never a day that dad did not pull in to the driveway at 5pm, nor were there unexplained absences at night or weekends. So, if by chance he was having an affair, I’m not sure how he was doing so. I guess anything is possible. I am reluctant to judge either of the parties in question given the s&%tshow of a marriage that appeared to be in place.
Thank you Scouts, for teaching me camping, knot and rope craft, first aid, fire safety, the Phonetic Alphabet, ‘Is There Any Red Port Left’, compass skills, topographical map reading, cooking, leadership, humility, courage, resilience, The Lord’s Prayer, love of the bush and nature, 4WDing, orienteering and basic survival skills, boating and aviation.
I am forever indebted.
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